The Linkful Triad Trilogy and Other Plays: The Collected Work of JJ Thompson Page 4
Characters, yo:
Dr. Bronson - KILLER OF BABYS!!!!!
Piper Bronson - The abortonist daughter (like DA TITLE SAYS (HA, ha, ha, haa, ha, ha!!!)
Granma Bronson - Old lady!!!! ha, ha, ha, ha ,ah!!!!
The Milk Man - a milk man
Detective Giggler - black cop with Mad Street SMARTZ, yo!
The Starnger - MSYsterios man in black but he aint black like DETECTIVE GIGGLER who is black.
Act 1, Scene 1 -- In the Dr. Bronson's living room, the famly all round with the doctre on da couch and Granma Bronson rubbing his feeet, while Piper Bronson isn eating gre beans out of can.
Piper Bronson: These green beans lick nits!!!
Dr. Bronson: SHUT UP HORE!!!! If yoor mom cold see the BITCH-FEAST yoo have become she would hit yoo with a flying pan!!!
Piper Bronson: It is so tragic being the ABORTONIST DAUGHTER!!!!
Dr. Bronson: Yoo don't know what you talk bout, yo!!! My job is a good thing and abortiion IS AWESUM!!!!! Ha, ha, ha, ja, ja, jha!!!!!!
Granma Bronson: Yoo are so wright my son because I am a woman and yoo are a man and therefore you aer roight!!
Dr. Bronson: Dats right!! Da one with da balls is da one dat makes da calls!!!! Ha, ha, aa, ha, ha,a ha !!!!!!!!!!! I am clever.
Piper Bronson: (wispering to her herself) My mother would be sooooo sad if she was alive!!!! :(
Dr. Bronson: WHAT YOO SAY COCKBITCH!!!!!
Piper Bronson: Nothing farther………………,................
Dr. Bronson: Ha, ha, ha, !!!! Keep rubbing those feet woman my corns are bleeding!!!
Granma Bronson: Yoo have the feet of a god my sun……………!!!!!!!!!!!
Piper Bronson: (goes to the kitchen tabel) I wish the LIBRELS MEDIA did not control the coauntry because then the EVAL CRIME called abolishion wood be cease to exist!!!
Dr. Bronson: OH God, I got existed!!!!!
Granma Bronson: Can I stop now my sun?? My fingres are bleeding from all this rubbing and toching of da feet…!!!!!
Dr. Bronson: FUCK YOO WOMEN!!!!!!! I AM THE JESUS OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!! (Hits her in the stomahcn son hard that her dentrures fly out)
Granma Bronson: (dies)
Dr. Bronson: (fakes being sad bit is not really but he is acting) Oh no I Killed Granma!!! Ha, ha, hak, ha, ha lgha, ha!!!!!!
Piper Bronson: (cries) BOO-HOO!!!!! Boo-hoo!!q!!! BOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I will slit my wrsits tonite and kill myse;lf!!!!!
Dr. Bronson: Yoo DARE OPOSE ME!!!!!!! (hiters her HARD across the face) Yoo will now take your granmas job and be my slave and yoo will now proave yoo loyalness to me clweaning this MESSS!!(goes around acting all crazy and shit sand trashes the house so that Piper can clean it)!! ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!
Piper Bronson: Oh no.....................................Iam a slave…………………………….
Act 1, Scene 2 -- In the city park Mr. Bronsan flys a kite and Piper Bronson sits on the bench looking sad while themilk man comes into the place.!!!!!!
Milk Man: MY what a lovly kite yoo have………..
Dr. Bronson: Hello milkman!! I HOPE THE MILK IS GOOD AND WARM TODAY!!!!
Milk Man: But yoo have a daughter and milk will makes her bones strong and helthy!!!
Dr. Bronsan: Don't worry one day my daughrer will be a women and she will make the milk all on her onw!!! Ha, ha, ha,mha, ha!!! Women lactate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Milk Man: DO THEY REA:LY!!!!!?!
Dr. Bronsoj: Ye I know dat because I am a Doctors and I anm a very, very, very, vary smart man !!!!
Milk Man: Yoo shore do no a lot about the womenfolk, yo.
Dr. Bronson: Yeah I know enought to know when to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!! (hits the mailman in his fist) Now get me the mlik before I calkl the cops!!!!
Male man: I will give you the milk befor yoo call the cops..................... (gives him the mail)
Dr. Bronson: Ha, hga, ha, ha ha ,ha ,ha, h!!!!!! It is so good being a uber-poewrful LIBRAL ABORTER OF DEAD CHILDREN!!!!!
Piper Bronan: (gives her father a sweeter) Father I knit yoo a sweeter.
Dr. Bronson: The sweeter is very good.
Piper Bronson: I made it with love....................(under her breth) BUT NOT FOR YOO…/.......
Dr. Nbronson: Oh Piper, I forget to go to the store..... can yoo go to the markat and pick up some cabagge, parsley, chicken beast, saltine crackers, falafals, fish good, and shampoo!!!! I am a vary hungry man!!!!!
Piperr Bornson: (goes to the market)
Dr. Bronson: LIttel dose she know dat tonite will be the last night of her shitty life, yo!!!!! (this is where it gets a littel CRAXY) HA, ha, aha, ha, aha, kasj, ha, ha,!!!!!!!!!!!
Act 2, Scene 1 -- Piper Bronsona is in het market trying to find shampoo BUT IS FAILING!!!!!!! Ha, ha,a ah, aha!!! Realy, guys, it aint funny.
Detective Giggler: (comes out) Hello Piper Bronsan!!!!!
Piper Bronsan: HELLO BLACK MAN!!!!!! Who are yoo!!!!!!!!!
Detecive Giggler: I am a copper, "Dawg" Shit"Nizz"le!!!! AND YOO ARE UNDER ARRESTED, YO!!!!
Piper Bronson: What did I do. Why myst my life be so tragic.
Detective Giggler: (giggels) I'm just kidding yoo crazy "cracker bitch". Whats "craka-lakan", lil "white" girl yo!?!?
Piper Bronan: I am sad because I can not fnd the shampoo and I am even sadder because I am the daughter of the I am the ABORTONISTS DAUGHTER and I must live the l a slave and I will get beated adn shit.
Detective Giggler: (pulls out his berrata) AH HELL NAH! DAT "SHIT" JUYST AINT RIGHT, yo!!!!!
Piper Bronsan: Can yoo help me kind black man!!!!!
Detective Giggler: YOO KNOW I"M A "THUUUUG"!!!!!!!!! Yo, I gotz my "glock" on his "honkey white ass"!!!!!! Let me call my "boys" Tyrone and Jumal one my "cellular" and will get to wrork on dat fagat "fuck daddy"!!!!!(calls them) DAMN IT DEY MUST BE SMOKING "CRACK" WITOUT ME!!!! (throws the phone and shoots it)
Piper Bronson: Do yoo think yoo can do this on your onw, yo?
Detectve Giggler: Don't worry!!!! My home-dawgs "2Pac" and "Biggey Size" watch my bacxk in Heaven where I know dey is chillin with the G-Man, YOYOYO!!!!!!!
Piper BronsoN: Who is THE G-MAN?????
Detecive Bronson: Dat is God, yo, our lrod and savor who died for our sins on DA CROSS!!!!
Piper Bronson: I am vary suprised about hearing about this god charaxter..... tell me more about him!!!!!
Detective Giggle: (lights up a menthal cigrate) I will tall yoo more about the Jesus when we get in my "CADILLAC PIMPED OUT WITH "RIMS" & SHIT"... CMON WE will take o the ABORTIONST DAUGHTER together using da powar of The Vible and OUR LOVE FOR DA HEAVANLY FATHER!!!!! Dats right, "hockey", Christ love!!!!!!!!!!!
Act 2, Scene 2 -- Back in da house where Piper Branson and Delective Gigler come up in and see the house stille trashed like it was in act 2 but Dr, Bronsan in not in there.
Detective Giggler: Dis house is ghey!!!!!!!!!!!! Qwhat happened to it, yo?!!!!
Dr. Bronson: (jumps out behind the curtane) I destoryed this house and I think it is okay to be ghey in our LIBERAL SOCEITY!!!! H,a ha, ah, ha, ha, ha ha, ah, ha!!!!
Detectvie Giggler: Who are yoo???
Dr,. Bronson: I am Dr. Bronson, the new god of Dis world!!!! Ha, ah, ha, ham ha, ha, mah!!!!!
Piper Brandon: No, I heard from Detective Giggler about our lord GOD and his son JESUS CHRIST who both died for our sins!!!!
Dectective Giggler: I cant believe yoo could raise a little girl without da teachings of the Lord yo!!!!
Dr. Bronson: That is because I am the worlds NEW GOD/ABORTER!!!!
Piper Bronson: What do yoo mean, father?
Dr. Bronson: I will show yoo the SHOCKING TRUTH!!!! (Goes to the table and pulls back the tableclothes to reveal a gi
ant glass case with a thousand kajillion dead babys flo around wich is uber-gross but KEEP REEDING IT GETS GOOD) Dis is why my wife died I killed her after she dound out about my secrat!!!! Piper, every year I drug you and ra yoo while you sleep and den I abort the baby while yoo sleep!!!! Yoo have had my kids!!! I am the father and the hubband! I ownz j00!!!!
Piper Bronson: OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Cries)
Detective Gigglre: Yoo have been abortioning!!!! DAT AIN"T RIGHT YO!!! Parpare to eat knuckles off ma black fist because I am going to punch yoo with my "black" fist!!!!!
Dr. Bronson: (pulls out a sclapel) Fuck Yoo Giggler!!!!!! Bring it on!!!!!
Detective Giggler: (fights with Dr. Bronson while Piper Bronson watches in sUSPENCE)
Dr. Bronson: (fights back)
Detectivbe Giggler: YOO Ain"T "ALL DAT" AND A BAG OF TATER CHIPS!!!
Dr. Bronson: As if, fuckface!!!!!!!!!! (Backhands him so hard he knocks the gold out of his teeth)
Detecive Giggler: (falls done) "SHEEEEEYIT!"!!!!! I see da light yo…………………………….
Piper Bronson: Oh, no, Jesas help me……….
DR. Bronson: (hits his Piper Bronson) Ha, ha,gha, ha,. Ha, ha, ha ,ha ha!!!!!
Act 3, Scene 1 -- SAME PLACE, SAME TIME
Dr. Bronson: Ha, hga, ha,. Hga, ha, ha!!!!!! Yoo Cannot stop me!!! I AM THE NEW GOD AND I WILL DETHROWNE THE OLD GOD AND TAKE HIS